Sandpaper Pete

It may not be live from the desert, but it’s Alaska chatter none the less!  Lindsay returns to talk about her food filled visit to Las Vegas, including stops at Hash House A Go Go, Koi, Sugar Factory, and Border Grill, to name just a few.  We also discuss why it’s always appropriate to carry a switchblade, Jameson’s disgust with Brian’s DVR habits and we meet possibly the most important person on the planet, Gerhart the Monster Hunter.  He’s a little rough around the edges.


Sandpaper Pete


15 thoughts on “Sandpaper Pete

    • I’m already working on a Buddy Cop movie script for me and Sandpaper Pete. I assume the Amazing Rando will be submitting a working title here shortly….

      • The reality show would be “Dumpster Wars”. Sandpaper Pete and several other quirky dumpster divers compete to see what great finds they can get out of the trash. At the end of each episode there will be a dollar amount attached to the items. Just like “Storage Wars”, there will be valuable items placed in some of the dumpsters. I say this as a goof, of course, but it will probably make a hell of a show…just like my dream project “Rando: The Boob Whisperer”, where I travel the world on breast-related cases.

        The movie I envision would be “Dumpster Man”. Brian Mollica is a stand-up comic who gets an urgent message to visit his estranged father on the very night he is supposed to have the greatest moment of his career….as the opening act for Carrot Top. He rushes to his father’s side only to find that the old man is near death. His final words are….”Take care of your brother.” Brother? Brian knew nothing of this, but soon learns that he does have a secret brother, a half-crazed dumpster-diving homeless man named Sandpaper Pete. Together they drive across country in a Geo Metro, learning about each other and themselves. A feel-good family film. Also, Sandpaper Pete has a pet, an adorably rabid raccoon named Jasper that he keeps in his coat.

        • And this is important. As a necessity of the plot, the raccoon has to be played by a hand puppet, not a trained raccoon or a CGI creation. It must be left up to the viewer to decide if the raccoon is real, or a figment of Sandpaper Pete’s imagination. The voice of the puppet will be Sir Anthony Hopkins. Sandpaper Pete will be played by Phillip Seymour Hoffman. Brian Mollica will be played by rising comic sensation Anthony Jeselnik.

          • I like where this is headed, and certainly love the idea of getting an Executive Producer credit on both projects, but you should know me better than this Rando. I play myself or I incinerate the entire endeavor.

          • Sure, Brian. I’d like for you to be involved. But as you’re aware in the comedy business, being “hot” is everything. No one cared about or knew who Jeselnik was a year ago, but now he’s everywhere, and America can’t get enough of him. His act hasn’t changed, but he apparently signed the same contract with Satan that Chelsea Handler and Dane Cook did. We have to respect that.

    • I’m not mad at Dane Cook anymore. Seems like a nice enough guy. Besides, his brother stole all his money, which makes up for all the money he stole from poor college students who didn’t know his comedy was terrible.

    • That’s a fair point, and it’s actually much cheaper and more convenient if I just have my meltdown now….Nah, not my style.

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