I’d Like To Touch On That

Careful ladies, Brian has a new pick up line.  Tony tries desperately to recap the night, but after a few wrong turns it becomes a Brian yell-fest.  They do manage to get an official drink count of the downtown excursion, Brian gets loud, insulting and almost involved in a domestic dispute, and once and for all we confirm two things, was Brian looking handsome and was Jameson looking like a hooker.  Seriously though, fuck all bartenders.

Email: dudhosts@dudiaries.com

I’d Like To Touch On That

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14 thoughts on “I’d Like To Touch On That

  1. Loved the struggle to decide if Jameson looked like a Strip prostitute. Perhaps when you do a trip to the strip you should add meet/spot the hooker. From the sounds of it Jameson may not even realize they are at the bars on the strip. Maybe you two could pretend you are a couple looking for somebody to join the party. Could make for an interesting show as you two search and attempt to negotiate with a prostitute. Of course you would need an out to get away at the last second.

    • Probably the best idea ever. Luckily we have Bob in Vegas who can give some inside info on some of the whore hot spots. What do you say Jameson? No one will proposition you because they’ll assume I’ve already made the investment, and we’ll get to do one of your favorite things, judge slutty women on their appearance!

  2. Got some good information on the hooker situation from a reliable source. After reading it I’m starting to think maybe your idea is not so great. Yikes…

    a special to BMo and exgolfpro since they seem to want to play around:

    streetwalkers: yes, Vegas does have streetwalkers. Before East Fremont gentrified, this used to be a great place to look. Atomic Liquor (which happened to have the county’s first liquor license) was a great dive bar to find them at 2am. Best looking was a hawaiian chick who supposedly had the HIV. You can still find them further east and going down Boulder Hwy. For a while, you could catch them north of downtown and sometimes patronizing a joint called the Ukulele. I think that place got shut down for too many fights.

    Other places: crack alley (area east of the north/central strip), Trop between I-15 and Orleans.

    casino girls: This is Vegas’ classy version of streetwalkers. They dress better, look better, and charge significantly more cash than your trashy streetwalker. Like a bad slot machine, you usually don’t win with these girls. Generally found hanging around casino bars and playing the slot machines very slowly near the guest elevators or casino bars. Giving them a little attention (stare at them a lot and smile) will usually get them to come over and feel you out. These same girls usually work for the agencies that use lots of pornslappers and all sorts of cheap publications and business cards to get horny guys to call them to their room. They’re already on the strip, why not take the odd call here and there when you’re already close to a potential client.

    Other places: the younger ones that want younger clients will work inside the nightclubs. The typical guy they’re looking for is the monied pro poker player or guys who spents hundreds if not thousands on table service.

    Nye County: For the Bohunk’s of the world that don’t want to dirty themselves with illegal sex for money trade can drive to nearby Nye County where a half dozen licensed brothels exist. For the hour or so it takes to get to these places from the strip, there’s a few things that you get: legal exchange of sex for money; if you pay cash (vs plastic) it’s anonymous (still need ID to verify your of legal age), sex workers are STD tested every week or two and practice safe sex so the chances of anyone trading the HIV while on premise is almost non-existent. The brothels have a limited number of sex workers on premise at any one time so the selection may suck. For the ones that charge by the service vs time, you are presented with a menu of services and prices and have to negotiate from the list prices. Sorta like buying a used car except you’re talking them down for a blowjob and vaginal coitus. For the ones that want to spend a lot of cash, there’s fantasy rooms and all sorts of gimmicky extras.

    Asian massage parlor (AMP): Where you can get a crappy massage and maybe a hand job. Unless you’re a pro at these types of places, you’re better off with blue balls. There are variations, the non-asian sort (a la Hot Bodies Spa) that are super ripoffs and some of the cabbies know about some underground brothels (off strip houses/apartments that have asian whores).

    Strip clubs: You really can’t buy sex here. You can blow your load (in more ways than one) but extras like blow jobs and sex in VIP are non-existent unless you happen to have a 5+ figure budget to throw around.

    There are other ways of finding sex workers, you can look at places like backpage, eros, cityvibe, exotics, and similar ad sites. There’s a lot of bad apples there. Many of the ads use photos from elsewhere on the interwebs which means that the hot girl you saw in the ad will not be the one showing up in your hotel room (a common technique used by agencies that love to bait and switch). Like the casino girl, many will charge you something just to show up, and then they want even more cash for the fun stuff. If they don’t steal your shit. Or kick your ass (mace and tasers may help them; electric kettles less likely in Vegas).

    test: If you had some hot sex worker in your hotel room, you’re naked, she’s at least half naked, she has your growing cock in her hands and asks for $500 to continue. Does the little head say yes and pay up?

  3. I definitely wouldn’t want to go the street walker way as that sounds way to dangerous. My original comment was more to see if you could talk up the ones that hang out at the bars in the strip hotels. I think any of us guys can attest to at least a few times being hit on by a few of them in the past. Just thought it would be a funny experience.

  4. Actually, just go hang out at the bar at Hard Rock. That is a place it is sometimes tough to spot the hooker as half of the women in there dress the same. I usually find it easy as most women travel in groups and if a hot younger woman is sitting at the bar by herself looking for someone to talk to I would give it at least 50% she is a pro. That at least is my experience.

      • Palms and Hard Rock (and to an extent, Cosmo) are tough to spot the working girls as they blend in with the out of town sluts that just want to look hot/sexy.

        Speaking of the Cosmo, the Vespar bar is supposedly a hot spot on the property.

  5. Do you have questions for a VIP hostess at one of Las Vegas’ hottest clubs? Post them here! If she and Jameson let me get a word in during the interview this afternoon I’ll try to ask it.

    • what’s a good and bad tip(per)?

      if you need examples:
      if BMo buys a couple drinks for himself and Jameson, what tipping amounts would be good, average, poor?

      if Jameson had a comped table with a single bottle, what would make her an average tipper? Does it matter if it’s all women, all men, or coed party?

      who (position, not names of people) and how much do you tip out at the end of the night?

      if you drink too much on the job, how often do you drive home? do we have a Bohunk situation here? how often did you crash out at a clubber’s room? sex? rape?

  6. Loved your question about tipping Bob, I apologize that we didn’t address it on the show. We did ask Barbie afterward and will share her answers next week!

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